Always a little bit of both but never fully invested in either. You just lull there in bed, half asleep, half awake. When you are torn from slumber by your alarm, you don’t fully fall back to sleep when you hit the snooze button. You always have a few things going on, but you always get to do whatever you want. You’re definitely not taken, but you’re not really single either. You are always talking to a few people at once. You’re never fully single, but you’re never fully taken. What if you embrace the cuff, and then something better comes along, and you miss it? Just like with your alarm, you just have to wait five more minutes because the best is yet to come. If you commit, you’re afraid you’re settling. You never lock anything down because you’re always waiting for the next best thing. You always think something better will happen in five more minutes. You press the snooze button, delay the sh*t you need to get finished, and nothing ever really gets completed. You cancel plans you shy away from labels, and you just sort of flounder.Īll of your relationships end up fizzling because you can never muster the energy needed to make them thrive. When it comes to love, you go in with good intentions, but then you end up ruining it because you put off making any kind of real commitment.

You’re never really starting anything because you’re constantly delaying things. You get anxiety wondering if this is going to be a bad day. It’s just like on those sleepy, early mornings: You do not want to open your eyes and see the harsh reality of the day. You don’t want to get hurt, so you don’t take risks. You end up trapped inside of a box because you’re too terrified to break free. You are unwilling to put your heart into anything, so you can’t open your eyes to new possibilities. You want love, but you don’t want to work for it. You just don’t give enough of a f*ck about anything to make anything stick. You’d rather just go to sleep than deal with anything stressful. You know getting out of bed will have to happen eventually, but it sounds so hard. Who has time for feelings? You have very little patience for inconvenience. In relationships, you tend to throw in the towel whenever things get too complicated. You always end up giving up when things get too messy. Just like with that dreaded shower and long commute to work, if you hit the snooze button, you don’t have to be bothered with it for another five minutes. You know any relationship problem you have is not going away, but if you ignore it, you won’t have to deal with it right away. If you don’t hit snooze, it means facing your issues. You mean well, but you’d rather lie in bed for five more minutes than face the world outside. It’s the exact way you act in relationships: always setting lofty objectives and then completely f*cking it up because you suck at seeing anything through. Instead, you keep hitting the snooze button, attempting to push off the inevitable. You are going to get up and be somewhere on time… but you can’t do it. You set an alarm because you’ve made a commitment to a goal. You’re finally going to get your sh*t together and act like a real adult. You tell yourself tomorrow is going to be a killer day. The snooze button is actually a very depressing, very spot-on metaphor for my commitment issues and every other commitment-phobic person’s relationship issues. It’s just like putting a Band-Aid over the gaping wound that is your morning routine. The snooze button: The easy fix for all things annoying.

Every five minutes, the alarm goes off again, and each time it does, I hit the snooze button. This little dance goes on for about 45 minutes. Yet, without fail, I reach over to my cell phone as it simultaneously vibrates and rings, and I hit the snooze button. I am well aware I have a job, and I have responsibilities I need to tend to today. WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT F*CKING SOUND OF ALL SOUNDS AS A RINGTONE, ASSH*LE?Īnyway, the alarm goes off, and I try to open my eyes. It’s the classic iPhone alarm ring that gives you anxiety every time someone’s phone rings. Each morning, as the sun begins to slip through the cracks of my hideous chocolate brown curtains, I am harshly woken by the horrendous sound of my iPhone’s wretched alarm.

Hit snooze button ecard